Awry

On the way home I ended up thinking about so many things and I just wanted to say, there's something inside(actually many many things) nagging for change. Because everything is so seemingly happy that it even convinces/confuses me a lot about my current state of mind.
Anyway, I just wanted to mention it is actually quite bad, and even more so to live in the pretext that it is non-existent.
(don't even talk to me about this)

I was just thinking about attending morning worship.
By the way I realised also that it really annoys me to hear people criticising my religion so often and then find out that I lack enough knowledge of my beliefs to refute them and justify Everything.

I need an mc. I really suck at trying to get mcs!

Lastly my papa used my computer until it spoilt! SERIOUSLY..
Finding out now how much it sucks not to have a functional computer.

JEALOUS.

OKAY. I have never felt so old before. Even when I stand and sit and just walk and do tiny tiny actions my legs and butt and shoulders and stomach and chest and back ache like crazy. :(
 Touch camp was good and meaningful though, in a way. :)
Other than the fact that I totally wasted my fun-o-rama ticket and I missed 4E2 class outing and I had to leave early because of concert and church.
I really love the touch girls! Hee. :)
I'm home and I half wish I was still at camp actually.
and we watched the Thai Shutter and I left during the show and anyway I only caught *scary* snippets of it because I'm such a scaredy cat and so I covered my ears.

favourite person in the whole world

Cheryl called me and told me, "I love you!"(the next part is a secret because I think people will get jealous. Lol).

Anyway my favourite Porky Post is the Teehee one on Monday. SO CUTE!
Lastly, today is my papa's birthday! And lastly-for-real, I'm home and happy, even though school was super T.T today. The only :) thing about this week is there's no pe! really hate pe after touch rug days, especially so after touch rug days when we have fitness.

I love you too, Poopie!

Already gone

Yay I like this one! But it's a little bit sad though.


Porky owns Photobooth! I like the second one best :}
(Cheryl and I totally suck at this)




seeeeeeee.
(so unglam some more)

Yucks I don't want to go to school tomorrow. And I haven't done my math & lit tutorials yet and I don't even feel like doing.
I think Charissa is right about school being stupid/superficial. My only grace in school is actually the fact that C and Porky and Elsen and Gramps are there also. Actually I think my class is really really nice also.

Anyway i just thought it was unethical but I don't even know how else i should react, other than act as if it is completely insignificant to me now, or as if I really really do feel like that, since I don't even know what I want actually.
:/

Inseparable

All the poems we're doing in lit tutorials make me think of how so many good things might actually be transient and volatile and unpredictable, and because it's as such and also unchangeable, sometimes it even becomes scary and sad.
Anyway. nowadays overly melancholic and woeful people get on my nerves (A LOT!) especially when it's because they're wallowing in self-pity. STOP.
But then, I didn't even use to mind it at first. :( Where is my empathy.

Bella cut her hair. Very pretty pretty pretty now.
HAHA! ^^

So I'm still in touch rug.
And we're having a stayover after the J1 party yay!
And on Saturday I'm going to meet so many favourite people, including Poopie (who stole my marks&spencer, that horrible girl) and Elsen and Porky and many many more.
And also self-proclaimed pretty boy, even if just for a little while. :)

Yayyyy.

Holidays are half over already. And because I can't even go for fun-o-rama because of touch rug camp.
I was almost sad today.
I was quite happy in the end.

teehee

Poppie you're so boring cos you don't use special names when they are so cute.
And calling you poppie online sounds weird.

I skipped school today and the doctor charged me $27 for an MC probably because he knew I was feigning an illness so he purposely prescribed a lot of pills for me to eat.

Anyway MSA sucks and I can't wait for March holidays I hope there's no school camp or stuff like that. If not, i'll be so ?:(

Anyway I wanna share what Poppie just smsed me:

"So bay beh are you free tmr? Hehe! Do i sound cool?"

Good heavens we need some enlightenment here.

Sonnet

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year's bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go - so with his memory they brim.
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, 'There is no memory of him here!'
And so stand stricken, so remembering him.

my current favourite sonnet because it is so emotive and melancholic but so lovely and sweet, and it lingers around in a stale cold way.
I like "In the Park" a lot also!
There must be something about sonnets that makes everything work better.

I might skip school tomorrow cos I don't feel like going.

Last night, I dreamt I was contemplating whether to do something not very right, and Claudu gave me her *tut tut* look and told me, "nooo, be good, Guin bull!"
Lol. Anyway I was enlightened by my dream. Weird.

Looking back at prom photos and how ugly my hair and make-up was but Elsen said was enamoured, teehee. Actually I was *~* too when he came up the escalator HAHAHAHA i just played it cool. Poppie and I are good at doing that (i.e. playing it cool).

To think the whole time for the past two years we were teasing Elsen about Charissa. My sweetheart keeps his secrets a teeny bit too well. I love you. Just don't call me baby!

raisin bun

My friends are really old.
I'm old too actually, ha ha ha.
It's just super strange that I am past 16 now. Imagine how old...
Anyway there are people in my cg who aren't that old. Like me and Siuli and Russell.
Siuli's is on 31st dec, and Russell's is on 30th. I think Russell finds it cool to be older than someone finally cos he keeps calling me '94. hahahaha
But I think I'll be sad if i ever find people younger than me.

(right now) touch rugby kind of sucks. fell down a lot yesterday and I kept touching down when I was supposed to PASS THE BALL. omgosh. Imagine how much more irritated I would feel if I were someone else other than me.

Bella.
I'm glad for you and I love you and *yay*!
I suddenly remembered about your "Dear Baby" off-key singing when we were having steamboat HAHAHAHAHAHA. Laugh at you forever. HEE.

Anyway I can't slimy people!
Hard to love anyone in SAJC just yet.
But I really love Fuhua people so much. :(
Like Poopie and Porky and Elsen and Gramps and Bella and Claudu and Shoes and Bimbo and C and Darren Lee.
I just realised Elsen doesn't have a special-cute name yet.

Poopie love

it is tough to juggle between the loves of my life. One of course is Poopie and the other is Elsen. He is newly inducted!

Today, just before MSA Gramps was cracking jokes about salami tactics coming out and it really came out. what nonsense I didn't even memorise the salami part. :(
No wonder Elsen saw the paper when we flipped it over and laughed.

 today I went home early for once. Elsen usually sends me home when he has no band, and because he is an A* boyfriend he brings me all the way to my door but he always goes back down before I go into my house because he is shy (teehee)... but when he was gone, I realised I had no key. :(
Sat outside my house for a very long time and it was so hot. and I was cranky cos i wanted to sleep and I came home early for once but couldn't go home so it made me very mad. And Elsen was gone!!!

After a very long time, I decided to do Cheryl's reminders part 2 since I had nothing to do at all, but then all I could think of was, "go talk to the wall la", and then when I was getting frustrated, i suddenly heard noise from inside the house.
So I decided to ring the doorbell, and in the end my korkor(oldest) was actually home the whole time I was sitting outside my house looking pathetic.
-.- (i don't even like this unrealistic face cause only porky can do it right in real life)

Anyway, my little brother smsed me during MSA and embarrassed me. But, his sms was soooo cute.
"Hi guinyvere, what does a blister look like? I think I got one. :("

Also, I want to appreciate my sweetheart! Today it hit me that the water in his bottle always tastes drinkable! :o I asked him and found out he has been quietly filling his own bottle with Ice Mountain (the only water I drink), because I always forget my bottle and am constantly thirsty. How shall I meet another thoughtful soul. <3 nbsp="" p="">

:)

Elsen and I meet at the benches behind the drink stall everyday and we watch people walk by and sometimes I think they notice us holding hands under the table. Teehee. 

Side note: he sometimes has sweaty palms!!! 

I miss Cheryl a lottttttt.
I find it annoying too, Poopie. Can't stand it, even though it makes us quite mean.

And I miss D. Please come and visit me soon.
I have 1000001 things to tell you :) :)

Uh no, I don't miss Bella..
hee.

YAY. Touch rugby is super fun. Elsen is either very sweet or very infatuated, or both hahahahaha. He sits at the gallery and watches me play and sometimes he sneaks out of the band room and stands by the field, and I catch him from the corner of the eye. It makes me self-conscious so I can't decide if I want to encourage this behaviour! But :)


Right now I just want to pull a comforter over myself and sleep but then I have so many things to do......
I'm super tired because I had to sprint all the way from the junior school to the JC side on the way to school, with my super heavy bag and my file and shoebag, and I only just reached the gallery right on the dot.

Training today was super tiring also  am gonna be skinny and fit soon.

Last time, my family created an acronym (F.A.S.T.) for my little brother cos he always ran so slowly, which actually stands for Fat And Slow Teong.


Today on the train, a malay uncle suddenly tapped Chengyi and said, "Hi Saint, do you know how to get to St. Andrew's Cathedral?" So we explained to him, and after that he exclaimed, "do you know I was actually a saint too!" and then he got excited and started singing the school song and school hymn to us, and when we said byebye, he went "okay study hard! Up and On!"
HA HA HAA. He was so cute. :)
And the china exchange student that did the introductory speech was sooo cute and clumsy.
And Sean, the little boy from junior school from loy fatt is SO adorable.

Finally: thank you Cheryl Huang for being so nice to me, despite... many things. I can't even say how much I love you.
:')