Texting K tonight was different.. It made me so upset because when I told him how ytd was like, suddenly all of the sadness was so much more acute, comprehensible, tangible. & then it somehow managed to heighten again when I talked to Porky.
Today was such a good day until yesterday came back again. If I were compared to a Housekeeping character, I really won't ever be Sylvie. I can't live for the moment and I can't transcend boundaries and not be influenced by societal expectations. i cant live as a drifter or dwell in the present without the past infusing it either & I can't even cope with impermanence for that matter. People like Sylvie are something different/special.
today I kinda got my first A ever in JC (I think) for my math MSA. I feel so upset that this doesn't even have any effect whatsoever on me anymore.
I lost my wallet today, and only realised so after math. During math I found a chinese dictionary under the desk. I returned it to the general office, and I found my wallet there as well. C:
Today, even PE was canceled cos of the lightning alert. :}
just saying, today MIGHT have been completely perfect and lovely
But it just wasn't.
& I just decided that when it comes to people(friends in particular), permanence and perpetuity are completely Out-of-the-Question, and we just have to learn to live with it that way.